what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
