Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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