I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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