Me. At least after what I've been through.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
