Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
