This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
