Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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