i just had sex bonerless
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
