so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
