Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
