been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
