I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
