you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
