honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize