i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
