I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
