my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize