He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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