Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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