Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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