I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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