so let's talk penis.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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