i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
