worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
3 2 1 whiskey
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
