Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize