Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I bet he comes in French.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
