Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
