Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
