Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
