We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
