After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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