I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize