i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
