Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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