Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
