Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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