Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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