Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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