that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
