Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
