all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
