thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
