There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
