Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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