if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
