I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
my poor anus
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
