We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize