I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
