If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
