i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
