Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
