Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
