this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
