im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
