Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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