i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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