Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
