Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
