I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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