god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
