I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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