dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize