u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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