careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
