I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
