Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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