You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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