Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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