you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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