turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
